Mental Health Blog - antidepressant treatment review

i am finally on spring break. this is a good thing, i think. so far, the plans are as follows: hang out in bham til monday (ugh i would rather DIE please). mon-wed, go to ATL with mom & fall & her friend tasmin. (aquarium, shopping, boring stuff, hanging with bonnie, etc.) that is all that is definite right now.

this past week was so all over the place. good&bad. probably because i started taking some new meds, & they are not the best apparently. (someone warned me about them before, but i guess i had to find out for myself firsthand?) one of them makes me jittery & cry a lot. & i mean A LOT. at the drop of a hat. for hours. no joke. it's ridiculous. i'm going to get dehydrated from crying. & die. i kid you not...the other one is great. it makes me calm down. (um, xanax, you are my new bff. for now at least.) so yeah fun times for all. especially because the first one (wellbutrin) makes me really unpleasant & have some crazy mood swings! (one minute i'm happy, the next i'm sad & mopey.)

partially because of said med (wellbutrin), i was a jerk to someone i care about last week. more like a few days ago. OK so like the other day. so, i'm really mad about that. & it made me decide that as soon as my next DR appt is, in less than 2weeks thank god!, i'm telling him that we just need to go in a different direction. yes, it may make me lose weight. but it makes me cry, so no wonder i lose weight. it all adds up in the end...just have to figure it out.

i am coming up on a milestone. almost a year ago, i had my first balls to the wall drunk occurrence! (which i know some people have heard me go on&on about...ad nauseum) but all of a sudden, it's making me remember a lot of stuff. different memories from last year. good&bad times. & that is just not good, ya know? i would rather not be reminded of the bad stuff when i am already all mopey&crying. that is just common sense.

my dad&i are having major conflicts. he wants me to stay in ttown for another year. (or 2 or more?) i cannot do that. (above paragraph will explain.) plus, it's not just my thing. idk. today is super blah. i stole a magazine when i took fall to get her hair done. i bought the wrong color OPI nailpolish, which just pissed me off. (i need linkin park after dark, NOT linkin park at midnight. totally different.)

& as i rant about these stupid things, i feel very selfish. which i do not like to feel. sometimes, yes. but most of the time, no. because it makes me feel very bad about myself. & i need to start feeling good about myself, no? BUT, i did learn 2 cool new tricks for my internet usage. both are helpful. OK, one is for sure. i'm still on the fence about the other. so thank you for teaching me that. (you know who you are...XOXOXO)

monday is baby lamb's bday. he is going to be 5. i am not going to be here. so i feel like a jerk for leaving him home alone with tim. poor baby!

IDK. call me people. leave me comments. whatever. let me know. that you. are out there. plus, i could use some inspiration for a short story i have to write over the break. so give me those ideas!